How Patrick Swayze ruined my life

As the years have passsed and I have meandered down the long path to adulthood, I've held on to a few things along the way. Yes, at 29 years of age, I still believe in fairytales. I like the simplicity of the notion that good and evil are clearly defined and that the baddies always lose. Using this logic, it makes sense that one's lot in life will determined by whether or not you share your fairy bread and with how much fervour you can sing "sticks and stones may break my bones..." and really mean it.

Unfortunately, age and experience have revealed the harsh reality that the good guys do not always win, no matter how nice you might be or how high above sea level you are perched upon your moral ground.

Anyway, the point is, I still believe!

You see, due to inadequate parental supervision and lack of a stable male figure in my life, I learnt to define the roles of relationships from things other than family. That's right. The measuring stick of a proper, functioning relationship for me was that of Johnny & Baby in Dirty Dancing. I thought his bad temper, slick moves and soft on the inside centre were the epitomy of what a man should be. "Nobody puts baby in a corner". Damn right.

Needless to say, there have been many romantic disaster borne out this ideal.

Take it away, Stevie.