Tuesday, December 30, 2008

hot day

The heat of today was intense.   A day where standing still only gives you the opportunity to notice the beads of sweat rolling down your back, your own discontent and the whir of the fan that is circulating increasingly hotter air .  My dress, a favorite, red and white, high bust and flowing skirt, stuck to my body in protest.

Bored, listless and heat stricken my thoughts were drifting elsewhere...

I text The Boy, who had ventured to his office for the morning.... come home, I want you.

30 minutes later, his hands and my dress are sliding over my hips and the salty taste of his lips are crushing against mine... the urgency with which we undress each other, the freedom as I depart from the real world to a place where only our desire exists... how can sex be so good.  Even after 1000 times and with a familiarity that is unquestionable.  I don't know.

I love him.  I want him.  I hope that I don't have to let him go.  Because life is infinitely more complicated than the picture that's painted on the surface.  It's all in the detail.

me bad

Well maybe not my last cigarette.  

But I've only 2 today as to my normal pack a day habit.

Given that I nearly kicked my door down this morning, perhaps I should ween off first.

Shut up Fingers.

Monday, December 29, 2008

the end

After nearly 15 years.

I have smoked my last cigarette.

God help anyone who gets in my way in the next couple of weeks/years.

Friday, December 26, 2008


This evening, somebody asked me if I went shopping today.  Now, I love fashion, wandering around aimlessly and generally being caught up in my own existence, but I would draw the line at battling it out with suburbanites over a red-light special.   

Anyway, another thing that I have been pondering today is the way in which people greet each other.  I suspect my reading of the delightful Ms From the World's  post on kissing inspired my renewed interest in the issue.

About 2 years ago, I was living in Paris.  I was frequently back in London, visiting America and working in Africa and Australia.  It was a wonderful experience, but it really sounds a lot more exciting than what it was.  What it was,in fact, was very bloody tiring.  I digress.  Spreading your life across 4 continents can be confusing, and the case in point is:

   the single cheek vs the double cheek vs the triple cheek kiss.  

My ex-boyfriend was a European where the triple cheek kiss was considered appropriate.  In Paris and London it was the double cheek.  In the US and Australia it is the single cheek.  Try working that out when you are jet-lagged and grumpy.  Getting it wrong can be quite painful with the inadvertent head butting, nose cracking etc.

Maybe, when the revolution comes, we can unify the greetings as well?  

Oh.  They tried that already?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

twas the night before...

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!

I have now been on holidays for almost a week and am completely chillaxified.  

I'm not really too big on the ol' Christmas day celebrations and will spend tomorrow eating, sleeping and watching crap TV.  Not being a particularly religious person, or the rearer of young offspring, this really doesn't depart too much from what I could do most weekends. 

Not that I am a grinch or anything.  

Merry Christmas peeps.  

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Well, I've made it through 3 decades.

Despite my birthday being today, I celebrated early.    I had lunch with friends (sans toenail) yesterday.

Last night was one of the nicest birthday celebrations I've ever had.  A house full of candles, music, delicious food, vintage french champagne and it ended, well rather delightfully.

Coffee and presents in bed this morning, followed by a lovely day of eating chocolate, mangoes and talking with friends.  

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Well, hasn't there been a brou ha ha over our esteemed Prime Minister (under)delivering his carbon emissions plan.  Oh dear.

At an individual level, I have certainly not helped things with the purchase of my un-environmentally friendly air conditioner, which I collected today.

In my defence, the bloody thing had the highest "green" stars, but apparently that is not enough.  

As we were trying to lift the box up the stairs today, it caught my toenail and it ripped it right off.  My big toe nail.  Freshly pedicured and polished toe nail.  Hanging by a thread.

Very painful.  Very disgusting.

Fuck you Environment.  Fuck you very much.  

Sunday, December 14, 2008


I have a lovely girlfriend, who is a little on the eccentric side.  She is doing her PHD in an obscure strand of cultural studies, has a penchant for hot pink, peroxide, glitter and self portraits on her digital camera.  

Always wanting to be the centre of attention, she often showcases her performance poetry at parties, christenings, bar mitzvahs and the like.  

At one particular wedding, at the end of the speeches, she took the microphone so as to give a (theatrical) reading of her poem "Gillette".   This particular piece is a dark tale of her occasional downward spirals which concludes with the line "scratch, claw, pull, where are my razors".  (Get it now, Gillette Sensors?)  It was a hippy crowd, and she had insisted on musical accompaniment, so this went down better than at say a Catholic service in Country Australia.    I have to say my personal favourite of her poetic offerings is entitled "Why can't I have a rainforest without so much mess".

Today she was informing me that she is getting back to her "simple self", more grounded, less drama, a less cluttered and material existence.  A little later in the conversation I enquired of her plans for tomorrow: "Facial, microdermabrasion, waxing, tinting, fake tan, massage and reiki".  

Ah, the simple things.  

air conditioning

I knew it wouldn't take too much of summer to take hold before the whining started.  It is disgustingly, revoltingly hot.  And my beautiful old house is like a steaming inferno death trap.  

Having had a major blow out in the shape of Christmas (over)spending, I am temporarily without means to purchase the necessary equipment to cool the house down.  Never one to let a temporary cash flow problem stop me, I've purchased a portable air conditioner.  The lord be praised.  It should be ready for collection on Wednesday, also known as public servant pay day.

Other random observations, dot point style:

  • This time next week I'll be 30.  
  • The crazies keep getting crazier.
  • Pushing myself to the last day of work on Friday seems a near impossible feat.
  • I miss London.  Oh, how I long to be bundled up against the elements.
  • I feel like a swim.  
  • I'm scared of the Ocean, despite being a complete water baby as a child. 
  • I know nearly everything I'm getting for my birthday.  It appears that I'm not the only one who has a problem with surprises.  
  • I spent 5 Christmases working 16 hours a day, 12 days straight, at a homeless shelter in London.  I'm not quite sure how I'll deal with all this extra time. 
  • I will probably sleep. 


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

fuckity fuck fuck

Can't sleep.

Need valium.  Have none.


Sunday, December 7, 2008



The Boy gets the watch and the music machine.

And I get this.

Baby sister gets both pairs of earrings.  They are very her. Cutesy.

Ma gets the print entitled "The rescue of a sea-worthy creature".

I might keep this one instead of the grey version.  The spare is a yet to be determined gift.

There has been a ridiculous amount of money spent this weekend.  And I am absolutely terrible at keeping gifts a secret.  By terrible, I mean I almost need to be physically restrained from showing the intended recipient early.

I may not be able to eat this week due to excessive spending. Food package could be required.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


The flying foxes in my back garden are driving me crazy.

I can't sleep.

And every so often when the bats stop squeeling for a moment, a possum will land on the roof. The wrought iron roof.

Nature can get fucked.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


From the ever lovely sparsely kate:

LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Name: La femme
* Birthday (month, day): December 20
* Birthplace: Sydney, Australia
* Current location: Australia
* Eye color: Blue
* Hair color: Dark Brown.
* Height: 174cm
* Righty or lefty: Right handed
* Zodiac sign: Saggitarius

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: Italian one side, Northern Irish the other (although I had it beaten in to me that there is only ONE Ireland)
* The shoes you wore today: Nine west sandals with metal bits. They are lovely.
* Your weakness: Morons.
* Your fears: Flying
* Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni
* Goals you’d like to achieve: Bring about a global revolution that I will achieve through the Internet. Or build a livable house of cards. Either or.
* Your first waking thoughts: Coffee.
* Your best physical feature: Eyes.
* Your most missed memory: All the ones I can't remember.

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: Yes. Soon No. Hopefully.
* Cuss: Fuck.
* Sing: Atrociously.
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes.
* Did you go to college: Yes.
* Liked high school: It was a good way to waste a day I suppose.
* Want to get/stay married: Not a prerequisite to a good relationship. But yes.
* Believe in yourself: Most of the time.
* Think you’re attractive: l'm alright.
* Think you’re a health freak: Yes. I alternate smoking hands to diversify my exercise regime.
* Get along with your parent(s): The children are more mature than the parents in my family.
* Like thunderstorms: Yep.
* Play an instrument: See post on piano playing.

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drank alcohol: Yes. Vodka and soda is my preferred tipple. With lots and lots of fresh lime. None of that sugary cordial crap
* Smoked: Yes.
* Done a drug: Only over the counter ones.
* Made out: Yes.
* Gone on a date: I suppose that's what you'd call it.
* Gone to the mall: No
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No.
* Eaten sushi: Yes. I love, love, love it.
* Been on stage: Stage. No. Soapbox. Yes.
* Been dumped: Not that I'm aware of.
* Gone skating: No.
* Gone skinny dipping: No. I would of had I the opportunity though.
* Stolen Anything: Hearts and Minds (for the revolution).

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: When a man and a woman love each other very much...
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh god yes.
* Been caught “doing something": I imagine I've been caught doing many things.
* Been called a tease: No.
* Shoplifted: Yes.


* Age you did get/hope to be married: Hope to be by the end of the week.
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): Nil. I'd like a few but I you probably need to see them before you start naming them.
*Describe your dream mate: For the love of god.
* How do you want to die: Old and asleep.
* What did you want to be when you grow up: A barrister.
* What country would you most like to visit: Bhutan looks cool. Or Vietnam. I'd like to explore Asia more.

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: Name one I haven't would be a bigger challenge. I had a wild youth.
* Name a person you could trust with my life: The Boy. Sister.
* Name a favorite CD that you own: I have a shed load of Music. I am still hooked on Radiohead's last one, In Rainbows.
* Number of piercings: Ears
* Number of tattoos: 3
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: None. Been on the television a bunch of times though for work stuff. And I was in a bread commercial once.
* Name a past experience that you regret: None I suppose. I don't even regret some of the fuckstick exes.